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[icon] Two People Frum Opposite Sides Of The World Dont Always Fit...
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Current Music:Michael Jackson- Man In The Mirror
Current Location:This Lonely Room...
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Subject:The Man In The Mirror...
Time:06:00 pm
Current Mood:depresseddepressed
It may not be a man staring back at me, but its a very lost woman.  Tomorrow will be the day that my mother was shot, and the day after will be the day that she pronounced dead.  Yep, im depressed, but seriously who wouldnt be?  I've been told to get over it, move on, everything...but seriously people until ur asses experience someone shooting and killing a parent, and u get to see just how fucking much it hurts, then dont say "oh get over it, and move on".  Im so lost here, im def. not happy with my life at all.  Billie and i are practicially done and over with.  She says she hates me, wants me gone, on a daily basis now, and lastnite she said i should have went home when i had the chance...and she was right, i sure as hell should have.  I may not get to see my mother there, but ill get to be around people who love me unconditionally, and people that wanna be there and help me though this so that i may be able to move forward and on with my life.  Only thing i have here is my dog.  I sat and held her earlier and just cried....a very good cry, probably one the hardest cries ive had in a long time.  And she sits there and lets me cry.  I remember back in the day when i had a girlfriend that loved me, i could cry in her arms and she would let me cry, shes wipe my tears, and she'd even cry with me...but most importantly, she would lift my chin, look at me in the eyes and tell me that she loves me.  I would instantly feel better, no matter what.  I couldnt tell u how long its been since ive had a girlfriend like that.  I miss my old life so much, things were so much better.  But i guess as everyone says, things change, people change, and i see that now.  And as this michael jackson song says...its time to make a change.  Its time for me to start my journey of starting my life over.  Maybe eventually coping with my moms death, and go on with my life, single..but with my families support, and my doggie.  I'm starting my journey over in south carolina, california has nothing for me here anymore.  Except sam, i will def. miss that guy, he has changed my life in ways no one else can see.  U see the world through diff. eyes when u see it through a disabled person.  I'll have memories here that ill miss as well, but i had bad ones that i want to put in the past.  Pretty much my california life has ended, and im being reborn in south carolina all over again, because I am Karen Diane Franklin's daughter, and i be what she always wanted me to be!
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Current Music:Gary Allan- Life Aint Always Beautiful
Current Location:Brooke's Living Room.
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Subject:Balls...
Time:11:04 am
Current Mood:boredbored
So here i am again listening to the most pretty song ive ever heard.  Its 2 hot AGAIN to do ne thing outside so im stuck in here till 2 cauze then im goin to get my hair cut with brooke.  But yea, heres the song that always makes me think about my bb.


Life ain't always beautiful
Sometimes it's just plain hard
Life can knock you down,
it can break your heart

Life ain't always beautiful
You think you're on your way
And it's just a dead end road
at the end of the day

But the struggle makes you stronger
And the changes make you wise
And happiness has it's own way
of takin' it sweet time

No,life aint always beautiful
Tears will fall sometimes
Life aint always beautiful
But it's a beautiful ride

Life aint always beautiful
Some days I miss your smile
I get tired of walkin'
all these lonely miles

And I wish for just one minute
I could see your pretty face
Guess I can dream,
but life dont work that way


But the struggles makes me stronger
And the changes make me wise
And happiness has it's own way
of takin' its sweet time

No, life aint always beautiful
But I know I'll be fine
Hey, life aint always beautiful
But its a beautiful ride
What a beautiful ride
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Current Music:Earshot- Closer
Current Location:House
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Subject:Almost 15 Days Now!
Time:06:56 pm
Current Mood:boredbored
And yes we will be leaving for SC, im veryyyyyyyyyy excited!  Cant wait to see my doggie and my fam. of course, and finally have billie meet everyone, its amazing!  I was thinking about it today, and like all of those times that i was there whether it be inside or outside, and id be talking on the phone to her, and now ill actually have her there with me, and it'll be like 8769798797987987272 times better. =)  So yea....her and i are still doin really good and that makes me happy.  But umm yea...i dont have a lot to really talk about cauze nothing really exciting has been goin on here.  So i shall be goin now, and hope that the time hurrys up so that my baby can come home frum work.  Later!
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Current Music:In Flames- The Quiet Place "Had to listen to my fav old song
Current Location:Our Room.
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Subject:Life Update.
Time:11:45 am
Current Mood:hungryhungry
So rite now im talkin to gabby and my b.  They're both texting me, i havent talked to my gabby in forever!!  Were gunna hang out when she comes in 2 weeks since i dont get to see her since work closed and she moved to washington.  Thennnnn the week after that, billie and i are goin to SC, yayyyy!!!  She finally gets to meet my family, (any my doggie), which ive been wanting for almost 3 years now.  I also want her to see where i grew up, and wat i grew up with.  I mean i got to see all of that when i moved here, and shes never seen that with me, and now she gets to, so thats gunna bring me even closer to her than i already am...(which i dont see how i can get ne closer), but yea.....Im jus excited and happy and i cant help it!  So yea mother cow is bringing me sum food frum town soon, which is very nice of her.  Ima eat then start reading/studying sum more, so that i can take my next exam for skool.  Billie and i had a really serious convo. lastnite and it got me super motivated again.  I know sumtimes i get down being here when i start missing my fam. and diff. things in SC, but my baby always knows how to make it better and says the rite things to get me all happy and motivated again.  I swear i luv that gurl so much.  Weve been thru so much shit together since May of 2004, and now its March of 2007, and were still goin stronger than ever.  Its so amazing when i look back on both of our lives (all the old entries in the journals), and see where we were then and wat kind of life we had compared to wat we have now, and its fucking amazing at how we both changed each other and completed each other.  Ahh but yea, i suppose ill quit babbling about all of that, thats all i seem to do when i write ne more, is talk about her and how amazing she is.  But yea ima go now, ill try to update a lil more often than i have been lately. laters.
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Current Music:Saliva- Broken Sunday
Current Location:House
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Subject:Forever Update.
Time:12:09 pm
Current Mood:contentcontent
So yea its been like monthsssss since ive updated, so ima do a quick one.  First off, billie and i are still doing WONDERFUL and i culdnt be happier.  She's amazing and im soo thankful to have her in my life.  Second, im in skool now, and im working on becoming a dog obedience trainer/instructor.  Im doing intern work at a kennel near by and i absolutely luv it!  Hopefully ill start gettin paid for it, which the guy luvs me and has talked about paying so hopefully soon, he'll start!  Ummm...the band, also goin good.  We have 4 shows lined up for feb. and a new chick is starting to get us shows booked for march, so that we can move outta the vacaville area and start in vallejo, so that'll be kool.  Umm....so overall my life is still goin pretty great, itd be perfect once i can start having an income again, thats the only thing im stressing about, but other than that, i luv it.  But yea, i shall be goin now, got sum reading/studying to do so that i can take my next exam, so later!
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Current Music:Plain White T's- Hate I Really Dont Like You
Current Location:HOME!!!
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Subject:Ive Returned From SC...
Time:12:27 pm
Current Mood:contentcontent
So yea i got home lastnite from SC and i have to say that was the most stressful 2 weeks of my entire life.  Dealing with stuff wtih my pop's was hard...i seriously didnt wanna leave him, but i have a home now and a life over here, and i have to live it.  Besides i was beyond ready to get back into my baby's arms =).  Going without seeing her for 2 whole weeks was fucking hell.  Umm...rite now she's at skool and im here, i go back to work 2 morrow.  Today was my relax day since i havent had one in weeks, plus i had to unpack my stuff becauze i def. didnt do that lastnite...we were too busy..::smiles::....But yea i guess i shall be goin now, i jus wanted to say that im home!!  Ok, later!
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Current Music:Evanescence
Current Location:Home
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Subject:Kick Ass C.D!!!
Time:09:03 pm
Current Mood:chipperchipper
Yea matty made me a copy of the new evanescence c.d and its great!!  So yea i jus got back from hanging out with tori and amber and i had a good time.  First billie, tori, amber and i went to the mall and hung out and ate before billie had to go to work.  Then tori, amber and i went to the movies and that was kool.  It got hot in there so tori said she was gonna strip and took her shirt off...(keep in mind she had a beater on underneath it)...then she pretended to take that one off and me and amber were like nooo!!  So yea we jus goofed off and watnot there.  Afterwards we went to the bookstore jus to waste time and we were all reading our horiscopes.  We did that for about an hour jus finding random things to look at.  Then amber and i had to pee so we went in the bathroom and it was like like dead quite and she was like...nikki are u ever gunna pee, and i didnt even have my pants off yet and i was like umm...u can pee before me, so yea...it was kinda ackward but very funny.  So yea after that we went to michaels cauze tori had to get sum stuff for skool, and amber bought me a black rose!  It isnt real, but its really cute!  So yea then it was pretty late so i told them that i needed to get home, plus it was time for tori to take amber home cauze she wasnt staying with lani.  So yea, now im home...i jus took a quick shower cauze i hate feeling dirty.  Now im jus listening to my c.d, im also gunna listen to my black maria one that i bought today.  But yea i shall be goin now, adios!
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Current Music:Nada
Current Location:Home
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Subject:Arrrrggg!
Time:05:54 pm
Current Mood:tiredtired
Fuckkkkkk im tired!!  Work was superrrrrrrrrrrr busy today, plus we were shorthanded becauze all the kids went back to skool today, which sucked really bad, there was like 4 of us all together working today.  Fucking larry had to come take my register today for me to go to lunch.  Hopefully SOON we get sum more ppl hired.  We had this one new gurl amanda that came today and shes really kool.  I have a headache frum hell, and im tired and hungry.....and i havent seen my baby all damn day!!  Ok, im goin bye.
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Current Music:Phone...
Current Location:House
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Subject:Tired....
Time:06:15 pm
Current Mood:tiredtired
So yea rite now im jus relaxing and talking to brooke.  Today was another day at work which is super busy.  It was better tho cauze after lunch i got to work with crazy kaite.  I never noticed till today tho how extremely gay she acts.  I know shes only 14 but the gurl couldnt act ne more gay today.  First she jus stares at me and smiles....like constantly, then shes like ur accent is soooo adorable, she makes me say words and jus goes crazy over them.  So like yea today it slowed up around 3 so her and i talked for a bit.  She said she wants to move to sc jus so she can pick up the accent.  Crazy kid.  Also today i had like a million guys tell me how adorable it was and how cute i was...i was like first of all i hate my accent, second im working so i look like shit, but watever makes them happy and gets me by without having to deal with rude ppl then ok.  But yea im veryyyyyyyyyyyyy tired now so i dont feel like writing ne more, later.

P.S....I MISS MY BABY!!
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Current Music:None...
Current Location:Home
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Subject:Blah....
Time:06:01 pm
Current Mood:tiredtired

Im tired and i miss my baby...I WANT HER HOME DAMNIT!!!

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[icon] Two People Frum Opposite Sides Of The World Dont Always Fit...
View:Recent Entries.
View:Archive.
View:Friends.
View:Profile.
You're looking at the latest 10 entries.
Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 10 entries